Men’s Group Therapy in San Diego: Peak Performance

Our new men’s group therapy is starting!

                 Peak Performance for Modern Men

Are you a man between 22-30 years old who struggles with feeling like you’ve got your life on track? Do you want a relationship, but have been hurt before and just have avoided dating altogether? Wish you felt more confident? Well, there’s a new group starting here at Coaching Through Chaos just for you! If you’ve never been to a men’s group therapy session, don’t worry, this group will feel more like an interactive class. We want you to get the most out of this experience!

Group Facilitator:

Josh Hudson, IMF (619) 881-0051 ext. 5

Group Mission:

To help men find and keep their ideal partner by teaching them to reach their full potential and accept themselves in the process.

Start Date:

TBD (approx. end of February 2017)

Location:

Coaching Through Chaos 2535 Camino Del Rio South, Suite 355 San Diego, CA. 92108

Who’s it for?

Men, age 22-30, who wish to feel more confident, more assertive, develop healthy relationships and understand themselves better.

Topics to Covered*:

• Building Self-Confidence

• Stress Coping Skills

• How to Develop Healthy Relationships

• How to handle Rejection

• Overcoming Relationship Fears

• How to Set and Achieve Goals

Age:

22-30 (if you know someone who could benefit from this group and they are above or below this age range, please let me know – I’d love to find a group for them).

Cost:

$30 per session, pre-paid (cash/check/charge/HSA).

Format:

• Weekly for 8 consecutive weeks

• 1 Hour

• Educational- there will be weekly topics for group learning & discussion For more info and to make referrals, contact Josh: (619)881-0051 ext. 5.  

*Topics may change based on group needs. Please call with any questions you may have. 

Josh Hudson
Josh Hudson, IMF

Josh Hudson is Supervised by Dr. Colleen Mullen, MFC43476

7 Proven Habits to Create more Success in Your LIfe

                                                                                  
When you study the lives of highly successful people, they all have similar routines in place that help them stay successful. Keep in mind that most successful people don’t measure their success by the amount of money in the bank.  No, most of the top successful people view their success through the lens of living a full, well-rounded life. Following are 7 proven success habits you can start doing today to start living the most successful life you can.

1. Get Enough Sleep   success habits include getting enough sleep

Lack of sleep can be a critical factor in how we function throughout the day or the week. Not getting enough sleep can lead to “brain fog”, weight gain (or lack of ability to lose weight when trying), sugar cravings and an over-reliance on caffeine. For as much as we all have slightly different needs, the average adult needs between 7-8 hours of sleep. You should feel rested and ready for the day when you wake. If you feel sluggish or still sleepy, you probably need to adjust your routine. Even getting too much sleep can have the same affect as not enough. You’ve probably known people who can sleep and sleep and sleep. Unless they have an underlying medical condition, we can assume their circadian rhythm is off and their body doesn’t recognize when they’ve had enough sleep. Your circadian rhythm is your body’s internal clock which regulates how much sleep you need.

What can you do?

You can do several things to keep your sleep balanced. Going to bed at the same time, all the time is recommended by the National Sleep Foundation. This keeps your circadian clock regulated. Of course, there will be nights when that can’t happen. When you don’t get enough sleep one night, don’t “make up for it” by sleeping in the next day as it just throws your clock off more and it can become difficult to reset it. A regular exercise routine is recommended to ensure a good night’s sleep. The stimulation of your cardiovascular system helps regulate your body and gives it the proper signals that you need rest at the end of the day. If you have difficulty falling asleep, limiting your exposure to blue light waves can help fix that. A Harvard study demonstrated that exposure to blue light prior to sleep suppressed our secretion of melatonin, which is a hormone that influences our circadian rhythms. They recommend staying off the electronic devices for 2-3 hours prior to going to bed. However, if you can’t put it down before bedtime, turn it down. There are apps like Twilight (for Android) or f.lux (for Windows, Mac, Llinux, iPhone or iPad) which allow you to turn down the blue light so that your screen matches the time of day. They’re really helpful for those of us who struggle with putting the electronics to bed before us.

2. Cultivate Friendships

Very successful people are usually well supported people. Success is about living a full life. Without friendships, money usually isn’t very fun. Having deep connections with others takes “people skills” and emotional availability, which are also great qualities for success in business. Having someone to call when you need a break, someone to run some ideas past and someone to tell us when we are really making a bad decision when we need it are priceless.

What can you do?

Call a friend once a week. Make a lunch or coffee date with someone once a month. When you’ve got a free moment, call a friend to ask how their life is going. They will appreciate the outreach from you and you will feel supported on your path to success.

3. Make a “To-Do” List Every Night  success habits include making a list for the next day

A struggle for many successful people is shutting off their mind at the end of the night. One little hack that can make all the difference in the world is to make yourself a list of all the items swimming around in your head at night. It can be considered your “to-do” list for the next day.

What can you do?

Send yourself an email of your list. It’s a great way to keep on track. There are even apps like Evernote to record and track your lists. Doing this can really help 1. Put your mind at ease that you won’t forget something and 2. Allow you to stay organized and focused.

4. Exercise Regularly success habits include exercising regularly

I’ve not heard a story of a successful person that didn’t exercise. This does not mean that every successful person is in top physical condition, but that they understand that exercise will help keep their mind and body in sync. This mind-body connection will help them with tasks during the day like staying focused or falling asleep easily at night.

What can you do?

If you don’t have an exercise routine, just start with a 20- minute walk in the morning or the evening. Evening walks are great for mindfully reflecting on your day and letting go of stress. Morning walks can be great for motivation and planning. If you have physical limitations, check with your doctor for recommended exercises for your physical ability.

5. Write Down Goals

A study at Dominican University of California found that when people wrote down their goals, they were 42% more likely to accomplish them. We live in a world of broken resolutions and people “dreaming big”. Research would say that the dream doesn’t exactly matter unless you’ve got it defined.

What can you do?

Write down your goals. Make them clear and defined. For instance, “I want to get educated” is not a clearly defined goal. Instead, you would write, “I will apply to go to law school (nursing school, trade school, etc) by the end of this year”.

6. Give Back

Most successful people carve out time in their life for altruistic or charitable efforts. This does not mean you have to give all your money away. In fact, there are many options that only cost you your time and knowledge.

What can you do?

Volunteer. There are organizations in every community who need: helping hands (beach or street clean ups), mentors, tutors or speakers. Network within your community to see how you can start giving a bit of yourself to others.

7. Love What You Do   success habits include living  what you do

If you’re in a job right now that you don’t love, this may seem like an unattainable blanket statement, but it is not meant as one. Of course, if you can gear your life towards a career you love, it will be all that much easier to hold on to the feeling, but there are things you can do.

What can you do?

If you are in a job you don’t love right now, find something you can love about the experience. Maybe you have some great co-workers, or maybe your health benefits allow you to not worry so much about your family. There is usually something about a job situation that a person can really love. While you’re reaping the benefits of a mindset about your job, you can take some time to figure out how to tap into doing what you love to do. Maybe your job becomes a way of funding a new venture, or a side project, or a continued good stream of income for you to support your family. There are many ways to look at the same situation.

Wrapping it All Up

If you ask 10 different successful people what success means to them, they might have 10 different answers. It’s only when we look at their behaviors – what they do on any given day, that we can see the similar patterns in successful peoples’ lives. I would invite you to explore how you can implement these habits now on your path to success.

We can help YOU at Coaching Through Chaos in San Diego!

If this article resonated with you, but you find yourself lacking in the motivation to get started, or you can’t focus to stay on target of your goals, give us a call today (619) 881-0051. We can even give you a free 15-minute phone consultation. Check out CoachingThroughChaos.com to see all that we have to offer!

 

coaching through chaos podcast

Resources

http://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/blue-light-has-a-dark-side

https://justgetflux.com/

https://evernote.com/

This post was written by Dr. Colleen Mullen, Psy.D.,LMFT. Originally posted on EverydayPowerBlog.com

 

 

Treat Your Resolution Like A Marathon

Why you are more likely to complete a marathon than your New Year’s Resolution

 

The beginning of every race is the same – people take their places in the pack where they think they will excel, the goal is set: finish the race. The runners hear the gun blast or the whistle blow, and they’re off! According to runningusa.org, since 1990, there has been more than a 140% increase in U.S. marathon finishers (224,000 vs. 541,000) and over the past decade, a 40% increase (386,000 vs. 541,000). But when it comes to New Year’s Resolutions, only about 45% of Americans set resolutions and popular research demonstrates that only about 8% of those people actual reach their goals. In fact, 1 out of 3 people drop their resolution before January even ends. That begs the question: Why is it that people who sign up to run a marathon and complete it are increasing in number while those that set New Year’s Resolutions, which are often much less taxing on us physically than a marathon, drop them like hotcakes often before the year really even gets started?

The Difference between completing a Marathon and a New Year’s Resolution

There are many things that make completing a marathon a much more likely prospect than a New Year’s resolution. I realize that this sounds ludicrous, but I promise you, it will make more sense as you read along.

1. The end goal is clear.

If you sign up for a marathon, you know that there is a definitive end point of this task: completing the race on the designated race day. The problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that often people set a vague goal such as, “I want to lose weight” or “I want to feel happier next year”. These are not reachable goals as they are not clearly defined. To increase your chances of completing your New Year’s Resolution, instead of, “I want to lose weight”, change it to, “I want to lose 25lbs”.

2. Training for a marathon is achieved through tangible, motivating smaller goals.

Once you sign up for the race, you don’t sit around until race day and then burst out to run 26.2 miles and expect to complete it. You start a training regimen that is designed with smaller goals in mind. These shorter-term goals (i.e. increasing your run by 1 mile per week) keep you motivated to continue on. Instead of starting 2016 thinking, “I just need to lose 25lbs”, think in terms of a longer-term goal of 25lbs, but smaller, tangible goals of 2-5lbs per month. I know, I know, it can be painful to think of setting a goal of 2-5lbs per month, who does that? People who meet their goals, that’s who!

3. Completing a marathon involves signing up for it first.

People who write down their goals (i.e. signing up for that marathon) are 42% more likely to achieve their goal than those who do not write it down (Matthews, G, 2011). New Year’s Resolutions are often stated declarations. If you want to have a higher likelihood of reaching that goal, go ahead and write it down.

4. A marathon is 1 race – it’s not 5.

Another problem with New Year’s Resolutions is that they often come in pairs or even more. People say, “This will be the year, I’ll lose weight and be more on time!” or “This year, I’m going to exercise more, quit smoking and save more money”. Focus people!! Why must we group everything together?? Pick 1 resolution and focus on that. And, remember to refer back to #1 “The end goal is clear” to write that 1 goal.

5. People often rally social support when they set out to complete a marathon.

You should too! Whether its joining a track club for training purposes or enlisting friends and relatives to come out and cheer them on, completing a marathon often involves an emotional support team. For as much as there is research siding with not announcing your goals for the sake of preserving your motivation (Mahler, 1933; Gollwitzer, 1982), social support often helps a person remain accountable, feel emotionally cared for and less isolated when they set a goal. If you’ve ever known a person who quit drinking, the first thing often suggested to them is to get support through AA and other like-minded individuals. The primary purpose is to find a social support group that understands what you’re going through and can support you emotionally when you need it.

So, what will it be for you this year? A marathon? Or a clearly defined resolution, broken down into smaller steps, written down and supported by friends? I know which one I’ll take.

Best wishes for success! Happy New Year!

Happy New Year 2016