Self-employed Day Off ?

As a therapist, I work with people all the time helping them “set limits” or structure their time accordingly for self-care, focusing on helping them achieve balance in their life.  Being self-employed, I’ve had to remind myself of my own advice.  I’m currently in the office only 3 days per week – which, on paper, looks like I’d have  A LOT of free time.  I wish!! I just ended a 5 hour writing session for a 1-day class I’m teaching in a few weeks.  I thought it was going to take about 3 hours in total ….& I’m only halfway done!  Friday, I will spend a couple of hours completing my billing & making sure all my paperwork is done for the week.  I’m also working on some new marketing strategies that I need to develop which will involve: phone calls, personal meetings, letter writing, maybe a free lecture or two, & designing new cards & brochures.  In the end, I pretty much work at least a little bit 6 days a week. I truly try not to touch work materials on Sundays, but I won’t say that keeps my mind off of thinking about work.  I’m fortunate in that I  can only be in my office 3 days per week so that I have the time to be the one-woman-show that I am and work on all the background items that keep me running & generate new business.  I do find time to spend with my husband, exercise, and fuss around with my garden so I feel that I have a fair balance in my life, but all this got me thinking about people’s expectations of being self-employed.

If you are self-employed (1 person business or a small venture), what were some of the biggest surprises/adjustments to your life that are due to being self-employed?  What are ways that you separate yourself from your work?  If you were to be given a “do-over” would you have changed anything about the employment path you chose?

For the record, I would never change anything about my decision to be self-employed, but I have learned some lessons along the way about how to do it!

monstar-working
This is my little sidekick Monstar who is always willing to help me work!

Accepting Fear to Find Success

Dr. Mullen’s very first blog post, on Sherry Gaba’s website. Sherry is the therapist on “Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew”. 

We have all heard someone say, “I just don’t think I have what it takes to succeed” or “I feel stuck in my life”. 
People complain that lack of motivation, personal accountability and consistency holds them back but they often only have vague ideas about what success really looks like.  

A commonly held belief about lack of success is insufficient confidence  to go after success.  Another is a perception of  low self-esteem holding one back. 

It’s not uncommon for people to let troubles from their childhood keep them fixed  in the belief  they don’t deserve anything better as an adult.

The problem is that people rarely perceive themselves accurately.  What actually blocks a person from achieving their goals is fear.
They often hold their fear without being consciously aware of it.  To find out more about these common fears, read the conclusion of this article at
  http://www.sherrygaba.com/blog/accepting-fear-to-find-success-by-colleen-mullen-psy.d.-lmft

 

Five Ways to Resolve Conflict

 Need to resolve conflict at home or in the workplace? These five ways can help you get started in the right direction…

  1. Identify the problem.
  2. Speak with a purpose. Think before you speak.
    What is the point you are trying to make?
  3. State your viewpoint clearly and concisely.
  4. Keep your tone calm. Two (or more) persons speaking loudly in order to be “heard” are rarely listened to.
  5. Be gracious no matter what the outcome. It is alright to agree to disagree. Conflicts are not contests, the goal is not to win, it is to resolve a problem.

Accepting Fear to find Success

People are known to complain about what they don’t have. We have all heard someone say, “I just don’t think I have what it takes to succeed” or that they feel “stuck” in their current life situation. People complain that lack of motivation, personal accountability and consistency holds them back but they often have vague ideas about what “success” really looks like. A commonly held belief about lack of success is that one is not confident enough to “go after” success or that they have “low self-esteem” which holds them back. It’s not uncommon for people to let troubles from their childhood keep them stuck in a belief that they don’t deserve anything better as an adult. The problem is that people rarely perceive themselves accurately. What actually blocks a person from achieving their goals is fear. They often hold their fear without being consciously aware of it. Some common fears are:
Fear of Failure
Fear of Achieving
Fear of Rejection
Fear of taking a different path in life
Once a person accepts that they are fearful of some aspect of achieving the success they desire, they can 1. Begin to let go of a deep rooted belief that their life will never change and 2. Work on pinpointing the underlying emotional obstacles. For example, if they fear failure, what is the belief they hold around failure that limits them from moving forward? Once they address this, a goal can be accurately defined. Once a goal is defined, an action plan can follow. Tapping into how to stay motivated, accountable and consistent becomes easier now. A person can work positively towards a goal when they hold an awareness of what they fear. What goals do you think you haven’t pursued because of a fear? What stops you from starting today?

Disclaimer

As with many sites by licensed professionals in their fields, although I am licensed to practice psychotherapy in California, this blog is meant to be informative and provide you with information & helpful tips.  It is NOT meant as professional advice to you, nor is it meant as a substitution for actually going to psychotherapy/coaching to help with problems you may be having.  Please seek out the proper professional in your area to help you with your struggles.