San Diego Parenting Therapist Talks about the Importance of having Family Meetings

By: Valerie Holcomb, MFTi

 

Have you ever wondered why your child is acting out? They want attention and as a parent you might feel like these demands never stop (for more info on that, click here). In situations like this, teaching your child limits and making some time to spend with your child can make a difference. Having a family meeting once a week can allow your attention to be on your child. Family meetings, especially in families with young children, can facilitate a space for you to speak openly and briefly with your child(ren), which is often best for addressing behavior problems.
Having a regular family meeting is a good way to help your child learn cooperative skills. You will not only learn to solve problems together, but you and your family will be able to :
• Share positive feelings
• Have fun together
• Make decisions about family issues
• Provide encouragement
• Talk about problems
Family meetings can also benefit each of your family members. For example, you might have a grandparent living in your home and they need to be part of the family meetings too. But remember, although extended family/household members may be present t the meeting, your child needs you to do the parenting. Setting healthy boundaries and making it clear that the discipline and final decisions are up to you allows your child to accept structure, rules and consequences for actions in a healthy setting.
Family meetings work best if the focus is on one issue and one solution. Maintaining consistent family meetings will help your child learn to follow agreements over time. Most importantly, have fun as a family and enjoy working together. Share past highlights, positive experiences or behaviors you have observed and talk about new issues that have arisen. Together you and your child are learning new skills and through your influence, you can make a relationship that your child will learn to respect and love as they grow up.

San Diego Counselor Zander Keig is a Gender Therapist – What is that?

By: Zander Keig, LCSW

The Gender Therapist

A Gender Therapist is a licensed professional behavioral health practitioner who specializes in working with individuals, couples and families navigating a Gender Transition. A Gender Transition consists of medical, social and/or legal steps taken by an individual. A medical transition consists of taking cross-sex hormones for the purpose of developing opposite sex secondary characteristics and undergoing surgical treatments to reconstruct the body. For example, a natal (genetic) female taking testosterone would develop facial hair, deeper voice and fat redistribution. A social transition involves selecting particular clothing, hairstyles and mannerisms associated with the opposite sex. For example, a natal male wearing female clothing. A legal transition occurs when an individual acquires a Court Ordered Gender Change or obtains a US Passport or a Birth Certificate with an opposite sex designation. The Gender Therapist can work with you manage your emotional and physical developments through those transitions.

 

Gender Dysphoria

Many individuals who desire to undergo a Gender Transition experience Gender Dysphoria. Gender Dysphoria is a felt incongruence, which exists when the expected Gender Identification associated with the designated Birth Sex does not align. For example, a person designated female at birth who grows up to be a man will experience Gender Dysphoria to varying degrees from mild to severe prior to embarking on their Gender Transition.

 The Role of the Gender Therapist

The Gender Therapist’s role is to apply, at a minimum, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People (SOC v7). Per WPATH “[M]ental health professionals should have familiarity with gender nonconformity, act with appropriate cultural competence, and exhibit sensitivity in providing care (pg. 21, SOC v7).” In addition, mental health providers working with individuals, couples and families navigating a Gender Transition must exercise a “basic general clinical competence in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health concerns  (pg. 22, SOC v7).”

How Can a Gender Therapist Help You?

As your Gender Therapist, I will assess your Gender Dysphoria, provide you with social, legal and medical transition information, diagnosis any co-occurring conditions, advocate on your behalf, and recommend you for cross-sex hormone therapy and top surgery. I am also available to conduct assessments for those seeking genital reconstruction surgery once you meet criteria, per WPATH SOC (v7). In addition, I will assist your loved ones who are navigating their own transition as you shift from son to daughter or wife to husband, etc.

 

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Zander Keig is a CA Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with over 20 years of experience working with transgender individuals navigating a Gender Transition. He is an appointed member of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) National Committee for LGBT Issues; a designated NASW, US Veterans Affairs and Department of Navy Transgender Subject-Matter Expert, published author/editor; and sought-after Diversity & Inclusion trainer/speaker/facilitator.

Qwerky Coliving -The Home for Entrepreneurs

Qwerky Coliving - A Housing Experience for Entrepreneurs

This episode of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast features my interview with David Lowe, founder, of Qwerky Coliving.  Qwerky is a home in San Diego where entrepreneurs, digital nomads, virtual assistants, and other motivated individuals can come and live for a week or for a year (or more!). Qwerky is in its initial phase of it's launch.  Their Bootcamp launch weekend was Jun17-18th, just at the start of Start Up Week.  The stay at the home is designed as a personalized experience designed to meet the individual's needs.  This means in addition to providing a home environment in which such inivudals can find a productivity-focused environment, they will also be made aware of community ammenities that are available as well as being made aware of certain business connections that could benefit their goals.

Listen in as we discuss:

- David's motivation to start Qwerky Coliving,

- The ups and downs of the entrepreneur's journey

- David's previous start-up success, Uber Pong

- Plans for Qwerky Coliving houses in other cities.

- How you can get involved with the Qwerky Coliving community

 

Resources:

website: Qwerky Coliving

email: hi@qwerkycoliving.com

Podcast available
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San Diego Therapist talks about personal experience with Suicide in her family

Dr. Jonathan Singer

 ~ discussing the very personal topic of suicide and it's impact on those left behind

Podcast available
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Suicide Prevention and the Grief of those Left Behind

I was personally devastated by suicide on July 1, 2007, when my youngest brother, Scott, took his own life at the age of 28.  Scott struggled for many years in and out of mental health treatment episodes.  He never quite let go of the perceived stigma of what it meant to have a mental illness, so he never fully accepted treatment.  Even if he had, we know some people still make the choice to end their life.  What they don't know, or can't know, is how the survivors they leave behind are profoundly affected. 

I met today's guest, Dr. Jonathan Singer, LCSW at the Podcast Movement conference in Chicago last July.  Jonathan has been the host of The Social Work Podcast for over 9 years.  He started it as a way of bringing his university students extra information between lectures.  it has since taken on a long life of it's own.  There is not only a vast array of information  pertaining to all aspects of  the field of social work, but he also delivers inspirational interviews of people doing extraordinary things. 

Jonathan's primary field of study is that of Suicide Prevention and Awareness.  He is the author of Dr. Singer is the author of 45 publications, including the 2015 book Suicide in Schools: A practitioner’s guide to multilevel prevention, assessment, intervention, and postvention .  He has given over 100 academic presentations around the country and is an expert in his field. 

What's Happening in This Episode

The first half of the episode features our conversation about:    -

- The ages of children most at risk for suicide

- How to discuss suicidal language with your child

- What to do when your child says things like, "I wish I were dead!"

- How to utilize professional help and when it should be considered

- The significance of the suicidal thoughts

- The Zero Suicide Initiative

- The Jason Flatt Act

- What #Not6 is all about

The second half of the episode, Jonathan dives in with me to explore how I and my family were affected by my brother's suicide.  I am exploring this publicly hoping that it will help shed light on how complicated the grieving process can be for such a loss and also help those who are survivors of a loved one's suicide feel less alone.  Grief is complicated even when we expect a death to take place (i.e. when an elderly parent passes away), but it becomes more complex when someone you love chooses to die by suicide.  My family's reaction is not unusual, but in general, we still do not speak abou losing loved one's to suicide openly.  I'm hoping that by speaking about it in this forum, others may start their own conversations with their loved ones struggling with the suicidal thoughts, or amongst themselves if they are already grieving.

Thank you for listening to this very personal episode. 

Resources

The Zero Suicide Initiative

The Jason Flatt Act

What #Not6 is all about

Dr. Jonathna Singer, LCSW's bio at Loyola University Chicago

The Social Work Podcast

 


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Alissa Daire Nelson

 ~ discusses with Dr. Mullen the results of her Strengths Finder Profile

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