Qwerky Coliving -The Home for Entrepreneurs

Qwerky Coliving - A Housing Experience for Entrepreneurs

This episode of The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast features my interview with David Lowe, founder, of Qwerky Coliving.  Qwerky is a home in San Diego where entrepreneurs, digital nomads, virtual assistants, and other motivated individuals can come and live for a week or for a year (or more!). Qwerky is in its initial phase of it's launch.  Their Bootcamp launch weekend was Jun17-18th, just at the start of Start Up Week.  The stay at the home is designed as a personalized experience designed to meet the individual's needs.  This means in addition to providing a home environment in which such inivudals can find a productivity-focused environment, they will also be made aware of community ammenities that are available as well as being made aware of certain business connections that could benefit their goals.

Listen in as we discuss:

- David's motivation to start Qwerky Coliving,

- The ups and downs of the entrepreneur's journey

- David's previous start-up success, Uber Pong

- Plans for Qwerky Coliving houses in other cities.

- How you can get involved with the Qwerky Coliving community

 

Resources:

website: Qwerky Coliving

email: hi@qwerkycoliving.com

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San Diego Therapist talks about personal experience with Suicide in her family

Dr. Jonathan Singer

 ~ discussing the very personal topic of suicide and it's impact on those left behind

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Suicide Prevention and the Grief of those Left Behind

I was personally devastated by suicide on July 1, 2007, when my youngest brother, Scott, took his own life at the age of 28.  Scott struggled for many years in and out of mental health treatment episodes.  He never quite let go of the perceived stigma of what it meant to have a mental illness, so he never fully accepted treatment.  Even if he had, we know some people still make the choice to end their life.  What they don't know, or can't know, is how the survivors they leave behind are profoundly affected. 

I met today's guest, Dr. Jonathan Singer, LCSW at the Podcast Movement conference in Chicago last July.  Jonathan has been the host of The Social Work Podcast for over 9 years.  He started it as a way of bringing his university students extra information between lectures.  it has since taken on a long life of it's own.  There is not only a vast array of information  pertaining to all aspects of  the field of social work, but he also delivers inspirational interviews of people doing extraordinary things. 

Jonathan's primary field of study is that of Suicide Prevention and Awareness.  He is the author of Dr. Singer is the author of 45 publications, including the 2015 book Suicide in Schools: A practitioner’s guide to multilevel prevention, assessment, intervention, and postvention .  He has given over 100 academic presentations around the country and is an expert in his field. 

What's Happening in This Episode

The first half of the episode features our conversation about:    -

- The ages of children most at risk for suicide

- How to discuss suicidal language with your child

- What to do when your child says things like, "I wish I were dead!"

- How to utilize professional help and when it should be considered

- The significance of the suicidal thoughts

- The Zero Suicide Initiative

- The Jason Flatt Act

- What #Not6 is all about

The second half of the episode, Jonathan dives in with me to explore how I and my family were affected by my brother's suicide.  I am exploring this publicly hoping that it will help shed light on how complicated the grieving process can be for such a loss and also help those who are survivors of a loved one's suicide feel less alone.  Grief is complicated even when we expect a death to take place (i.e. when an elderly parent passes away), but it becomes more complex when someone you love chooses to die by suicide.  My family's reaction is not unusual, but in general, we still do not speak abou losing loved one's to suicide openly.  I'm hoping that by speaking about it in this forum, others may start their own conversations with their loved ones struggling with the suicidal thoughts, or amongst themselves if they are already grieving.

Thank you for listening to this very personal episode. 

Resources

The Zero Suicide Initiative

The Jason Flatt Act

What #Not6 is all about

Dr. Jonathna Singer, LCSW's bio at Loyola University Chicago

The Social Work Podcast

 


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Strengths Finder

Alissa Daire Nelson

 ~ discusses with Dr. Mullen the results of her Strengths Finder Profile

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Zander Keig: Beyond Race Or Gender

Zander Keig, LCSW 

shares with us his experiences, indicative of a deeper causality of discrimination
that taps into a primal fear of 'the other' that transcends race or gender...

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I met Zander

at a friend's house-warming party.  We spoke of working within the government agency system of therapy and had a lively discussion.  I went home and "friended" him on Facebook  - I then discovered my new friend was quite a fascinating person, having lived a life of social advocacy for the LGBTQ population.  It was when I clicked on a link to his website that I saw he was not only an advocate, but a well-respected person in that community who had actually gone through the transition from female to male. 

Zander Keig is a unique individual, not only because he used to be a she, but because his life has been one of overcoming tremendous hardships, starting at birth. When Zander was born, the doctor predicted he would be dead, but he was not.  Then when he was 6, he developed encephalitis - he went into a coma and when he awoke, he had to relearn some basic life skills all over again.  Zander's life since then has been a journey of self-discovery and social advocacy.

 

Zander and I discuss:

  • His early life struggles and some family reflections
  • Why he identified with the "separatist lesbian" community and what that meant for him
  • How and when he began identifying as "trans"
  • Why he feared Testosterone
  • How he and his wife created a relaiotnship that has withstood the stress of transitioning
  • How his education helped him understand those that did not understand him
  • Why he decided to edit and write books and articles on the subject of transitioning when his own transition is a very private experience
  • Why trans men are often invisible in our society
  • How intentionality informs his relationship with his wife
  • The strange thing that happened when he went from being seen by society as a 1st-generation Mexican-American lesbian to a highly-educated white male - where did his culture go? 
  • The prejudices he experienced both pre and post transition were not what you'd think! 

Questions and Comments

Although we have comments turned off this blog in general, Zander welcomes your questions and comments.  Feel free to email me DrMullen@CoachingThroughChaos.com, or leave a comment or a question on my facebook page  and I will be happy to pass it on.  

 

Resources

Zander speaks of some of the books he's edited, the documentary being produced about his life journey and his website.  Here is where you can find those resources:

Website:  ZanderKeig.net

Film: Episodes of Zanderology

Books Zander has been involved in, including Manning Up and Letters for My Brothers can be found here

 

 

Awkward Correction on my part

I realized when listening back to the produced episode that I was saying "LGBT and trans" when, of course in LGBT the T stands for trans - I don't know why I was saying it that way, but that's how it came out.  To anyone that thinks I was "not aware" - I am, I just speak faster than I think sometimes and it results in awkward verbal trip-ups.  

 

Coming Up on The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast

I just returned from the Podcast Movement conference for podcasters.  I learned a lot and made so many great new friends.  What I learned has led me to decide to make some changes to the structure of what I bring you here at The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast.  The next episode will actually be a re-boot: I will be telling you about my life journey through chaos, what it means to me and why I am doing what I do.  After that, I'll still be bringing you some great interviews, but you will understand more about what that topic means to me and how it might help you better navigate the chaos in your life. My intention is to bring you a high-quality show and that sometimes means to recognize how and when to make changes in what we are doing here.  That next episode launches August 2, 2016.  

How do you support us? Subscribe and Review

We've set up the podcast so that you can listen on both Android and Apple devices.  We are currently still on the "What's Hot" pages of iTunes in a couple of categories, but we stay there longer when we have more reviews.  When we stay on those pages, we also get seen by more people looking for great new shows to listen to.  We'd love for you to go to chaos.tips/iTunes and leave us a review.  When you're there, be sure to click "subscribe" and set yourself up for auto-downloads of our future episodes.  On non-apple products, you can listen on soundcloud, tunein.com, stitcher, or maybe you already have the "Podcast Addict" app downloaded on your Android phone - when you're in Podcast Addict, just search for Coaching Through Chaos - you can subscribe right there as well! Thanks for all your support so far!!

 

OTHER PODCASTS

FOUND

Have you ever found a note on your car, or found one on the street that was intended for someone else?  Well the people at FOUND Podcast by Wondery Media have developed an intriguing new show in which they work on discovering the origins of these notes.  I met the Wondery Media folks at Podcast Movement and I love what they are developing. I wanted to give them a shot out here and encourage you to check them out! 

 

SHRINK2SHRINK: Like Siskel & Ebert with a Psychological Twist! 

Have you listened to my friend and fellow therapist Courtney Calkins and I chat about our favorite movies yet on Shrink2Shrink? We launched a new monthly show a few months ago- our current episode is Creed, but we have also covered The Martian, Gone Girl, Inside Out, and Train Wreck! Our next episode launches on the last day of July - we'll be talking all relaiotnship and psych aspects of the fun Disney movie Zootopia! If you grew up watching Siskel & Ebert review the movies like Courtney & I did, you'll enjoy this- you'll definitely know if we liked the movie, but we also ad a psychological component to the discussion.  We pull  out our favorite clips from the movie and then we discuss all the relationship and psychological themes of the scene.  It's been great fun and we appreciate all the love and support we have received so far! Check it out Shrink2Shrink on iTunes

 

Until next time.......


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Dealing with a Narcissist

Darlene Lancer, JD LMFT

 ~ educates us about narcissism and how to deal with a narcissist, as discussed in her new book...

Dealing

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The topic of narcissism seems to be all the rage of popular fodder on the internet and the pop news shows these days. But what they are really referring to is our “selfie generation”, the millennials vying for attention on social media. They have really mislabeled an entire generation of people.

Today we are exploring what it means when you find yourself in a relationship with a true narcissist. My guest today is Darlene Lancer, JD, LMFT.  Darlene first joined me in Season 1 to discuss how to help yourself to break codependent behaviors in relationships. That episode is still one of our most popular to date. Please check it out if you haven't already. A natural progression for her work with codependent people turned to exploring narcissism.
Why would this be a natural progression you may ask? Well, when someone is codependent, they sacrifice their emotional needs for those of their loved ones, often taking on a care taking role with a partner. It is not uncommon for these people to find themselves in relationships with alcoholics or drug addicts, as these people need to be taken care of in many ways and they are often unable to meet their partner's emotional needs due to their addictions. Narcissistic people would also have a tendency to attract codependent people as they are consumed with their own grandiosity and keep people close to them who do not challenge them to meet their emotional needs, allowing the focus of the relationship to remain on them and what they want.

Darlene's latest book, “Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Steps to Raise Self ­Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People” explores the emotional upset that can happen when one finds themselves in a relationship with a narcissistic person.

 

What is Narcissist?

A narcissistic person is one who meets diagnostic criteria as set forth in the “diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM­5)” which is the manual the medical and mental health field use to diagnose patients. It is NOT just a term used to describe someone who is self ­focused on social media.

DSM­5 criteria for narcissistic personality disorder include these features:

  • Having an exaggerated sense of self­ importance
  • Expecting to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it
  • Exaggerating your achievements and talents
  • Being preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate
  • Believing that you are superior and can only be understood by or associate with equally special people
  • Requiring constant admiration
  • Having a sense of entitlement
  • Expecting special favors and unquestioning compliance with your expectations
  • Taking advantage of others to get what you want
  • Having an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others
  • Being envious of others and believing others envy you
  • Behaving in an arrogant or haughty manner

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal and value yourself more than you value others. (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic­ personality ­disorder/basics/symptoms/con­20025568)

Finding oneself in a relationship with a narcissist can be an emotionally draining and painful experience.
In this interview, Darlene and I dig deep into what the dynamics of that relationship can look like, communication strategies that can be effective for expressing your emotional needs and how to take care of yourself emotionally.

 

What's Coming Up?

Next up on The Coaching Through Chaos Podcast is my interview with Zander Keig. Zander is one interesting guy – and not just because he used to be a girl! Watch for that episode on July 19

Shrink2Shrink: It's like Siskel & Ebert with a psychological twist!

My latest venture in podcasting has been the launch of the Shrink2Shrink show with fellow podcaster and therapist Courtney Calkins of the Quadcast Podcast. Courtney and I dissect the psychological aspects of popular movies. As of today, we've explored “Gone Girl”, “Train Wreck”, “Inside Out”, “The Martian” and “Creed”. You can check out a sampling of it right here.

Follow & Subscribe

You can follow me on Twitter @DrColleenMullen

You can subscribe to the Coaching Through Chaos Podcast on iTunes at chaos.tips/itunes

You can subscribe to Shrink2Shrink on iTunes here

If you want to stay updated and get some cool tips on living a positive life, sign up for my mailing list at http://coachingthroughchaos.com/mailing­list/ When you sign up for the emailing list, you'll receive a free copy of my ebook: “5 Ways: 100 Tips for Living a Happier, Healthier Life”as my Thank You to you!

Resources on Darlene Lancer and Narcissism

Darlene's website: DarleneLancer.com and WhatisCodependency.com

Get the Book: Dealing with a Narcissist: 8 Ways to Raise Self­Esteem and Set Boundaries with Difficult People

Mayo Clinic: Narcissistic Personality Disorder

The New York Times: The Self(ie) Generation


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