San Diego Parenting Therapist Talks about the Importance of having Family Meetings

By: Valerie Holcomb, MFTi

 

Have you ever wondered why your child is acting out? They want attention and as a parent you might feel like these demands never stop (for more info on that, click here). In situations like this, teaching your child limits and making some time to spend with your child can make a difference. Having a family meeting once a week can allow your attention to be on your child. Family meetings, especially in families with young children, can facilitate a space for you to speak openly and briefly with your child(ren), which is often best for addressing behavior problems.
Having a regular family meeting is a good way to help your child learn cooperative skills. You will not only learn to solve problems together, but you and your family will be able to :
• Share positive feelings
• Have fun together
• Make decisions about family issues
• Provide encouragement
• Talk about problems
Family meetings can also benefit each of your family members. For example, you might have a grandparent living in your home and they need to be part of the family meetings too. But remember, although extended family/household members may be present t the meeting, your child needs you to do the parenting. Setting healthy boundaries and making it clear that the discipline and final decisions are up to you allows your child to accept structure, rules and consequences for actions in a healthy setting.
Family meetings work best if the focus is on one issue and one solution. Maintaining consistent family meetings will help your child learn to follow agreements over time. Most importantly, have fun as a family and enjoy working together. Share past highlights, positive experiences or behaviors you have observed and talk about new issues that have arisen. Together you and your child are learning new skills and through your influence, you can make a relationship that your child will learn to respect and love as they grow up.

San Diego Counselor Zander Keig is a Gender Therapist – What is that?

By: Zander Keig, LCSW

The Gender Therapist

A Gender Therapist is a licensed professional behavioral health practitioner who specializes in working with individuals, couples and families navigating a Gender Transition. A Gender Transition consists of medical, social and/or legal steps taken by an individual. A medical transition consists of taking cross-sex hormones for the purpose of developing opposite sex secondary characteristics and undergoing surgical treatments to reconstruct the body. For example, a natal (genetic) female taking testosterone would develop facial hair, deeper voice and fat redistribution. A social transition involves selecting particular clothing, hairstyles and mannerisms associated with the opposite sex. For example, a natal male wearing female clothing. A legal transition occurs when an individual acquires a Court Ordered Gender Change or obtains a US Passport or a Birth Certificate with an opposite sex designation. The Gender Therapist can work with you manage your emotional and physical developments through those transitions.

 

Gender Dysphoria

Many individuals who desire to undergo a Gender Transition experience Gender Dysphoria. Gender Dysphoria is a felt incongruence, which exists when the expected Gender Identification associated with the designated Birth Sex does not align. For example, a person designated female at birth who grows up to be a man will experience Gender Dysphoria to varying degrees from mild to severe prior to embarking on their Gender Transition.

 The Role of the Gender Therapist

The Gender Therapist’s role is to apply, at a minimum, the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender and Gender Nonconforming People (SOC v7). Per WPATH “[M]ental health professionals should have familiarity with gender nonconformity, act with appropriate cultural competence, and exhibit sensitivity in providing care (pg. 21, SOC v7).” In addition, mental health providers working with individuals, couples and families navigating a Gender Transition must exercise a “basic general clinical competence in the assessment, diagnosis, and treatment of mental health concerns  (pg. 22, SOC v7).”

How Can a Gender Therapist Help You?

As your Gender Therapist, I will assess your Gender Dysphoria, provide you with social, legal and medical transition information, diagnosis any co-occurring conditions, advocate on your behalf, and recommend you for cross-sex hormone therapy and top surgery. I am also available to conduct assessments for those seeking genital reconstruction surgery once you meet criteria, per WPATH SOC (v7). In addition, I will assist your loved ones who are navigating their own transition as you shift from son to daughter or wife to husband, etc.

 

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Zander Keig is a CA Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) with over 20 years of experience working with transgender individuals navigating a Gender Transition. He is an appointed member of the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) National Committee for LGBT Issues; a designated NASW, US Veterans Affairs and Department of Navy Transgender Subject-Matter Expert, published author/editor; and sought-after Diversity & Inclusion trainer/speaker/facilitator.

Men’s Group Therapy in San Diego: Peak Performance

Our new men’s group therapy is starting!

                 Peak Performance for Modern Men

Are you a man between 22-30 years old who struggles with feeling like you’ve got your life on track? Do you want a relationship, but have been hurt before and just have avoided dating altogether? Wish you felt more confident? Well, there’s a new group starting here at Coaching Through Chaos just for you! If you’ve never been to a men’s group therapy session, don’t worry, this group will feel more like an interactive class. We want you to get the most out of this experience!

Group Facilitator:

Josh Hudson, IMF (619) 881-0051 ext. 5

Group Mission:

To help men find and keep their ideal partner by teaching them to reach their full potential and accept themselves in the process.

Start Date:

TBD (approx. end of February 2017)

Location:

Coaching Through Chaos 2535 Camino Del Rio South, Suite 355 San Diego, CA. 92108

Who’s it for?

Men, age 22-30, who wish to feel more confident, more assertive, develop healthy relationships and understand themselves better.

Topics to Covered*:

• Building Self-Confidence

• Stress Coping Skills

• How to Develop Healthy Relationships

• How to handle Rejection

• Overcoming Relationship Fears

• How to Set and Achieve Goals

Age:

22-30 (if you know someone who could benefit from this group and they are above or below this age range, please let me know – I’d love to find a group for them).

Cost:

$30 per session, pre-paid (cash/check/charge/HSA).

Format:

• Weekly for 8 consecutive weeks

• 1 Hour

• Educational- there will be weekly topics for group learning & discussion For more info and to make referrals, contact Josh: (619)881-0051 ext. 5.  

*Topics may change based on group needs. Please call with any questions you may have. 

Josh Hudson
Josh Hudson, IMF

Josh Hudson is Supervised by Dr. Colleen Mullen, MFC43476

Positive Solutions For Misbehavior

                                                                                               Written by: Valerie Holcomb, MFTI
Often, your child’s misbehavior is not as intentional as you may think.  How parents respond to the behavior can influence how often and in what way children repeat that behavior. How a parent reacts to unintentional misbehavior may determine whether that behavior will be repeated as a way to achieve one of the four goals of misbehavior: attention, power, revenge, and displaying inadequacy. following are some quick but impactful positive solutions for the misbehavior.


Here are some cooperative strategies to help you help your children feel encouraged and empowered by addressing the above misbehaviors:


• If your child’s goal is to seek attention, then try redirecting by involving your child in a useful task that is age-appropriate to gain attention. For instance, say what you will do. For example, have faith in your child to sit with his or her feelings, don’t rescue. Finally, plan regular special time together.
• If your child’s goal is to be the boss or have power then try redirecting to positive power by asking for help. Offer limited choices and don’t fight or give in. You can be firm and kind, and decide what you will do.
• If your child wants to get even or has revenge then acknowledge his or her feelings. Avoid punishment and instead build trust. It’s okay to share your own feelings and try to make amends. The point is to show that you care.
• If your child wants to give up or displays inadequacy then try breaking the task down to smaller steps. Refrain from criticizing and encourage any positive attempt. This is an opportunity for you to have faith in your child’s abilities. This is a chance for you to teach your child by showing how, but don’t do it for him.
Remember if your child is having a hard time, interrupting, throwing tantrums, being rude, or simply not trying, this doesn’t mean you are an unsuccessful parent or that your child is unruly. It means that it’s most likely a time to begin aiming for solutions to solve the problem and modeling the cooperation and respect that your child deserves.