Motivation, Achievement and Recovery

motivation-achievement-recoveryThe work I do with my clients focuses on Motivation, Achievement and Recovery aspects of their lives.  I thought I would take a minute to explain this.

If you were to come to me with a change you want to make, the first place I’d start with you is assessing your Motivation to change.  You have already sought out my services, so you are aware of what you want, but you haven’t yet been able to put any action into your change. I will assess and guide you through mindfully identifying and working through your obstacles to action until you are ready to put the change in motion.

The Achievement aspect of my work focuses on helping you design realistic and attainable short-term goals in addition to more grandiose long-term goals.  These goals will be measurable and designed to keep you motivated.

Recovery means a lot of things to a lot of people.  Traditionally, recovery refers to persons “in recovery” from addictions.  Yes, I do a lot of addiction recovery work with my clients, however, the term recovery can also mean recovery from a trauma, recovery from a relationship break-up, or recovering from some other type of loss.  Very often, we don’t realize just how much emotional stress we carry around everyday which can block us in the area of motivation by way of emotional obstacles we need to overcome.

I see motivation, achievement and recovery as a cumulative work process.  If one does not recover adequately from traumas. break-ups, addictions or what have you, there will most likely be motivational blocks in the form of emotional obstacles (apathy, depression, panic or anxiety,etc.) which will leave you struggling to achieve the changes you wish to implement in your life.

If this connects with you and you’d like to find out more, please contact me through my website: CoachingThroughChaos.com or call me at (619) 702-5571.

Please share this post with anyone you think may benefit from my services.  Thank you!

Best wishes for success!

This Girl Finished a Half-Marathon !

Last November, I completed the Destination Races Temecula Half Marathon.  As my friends who are active half and full marathon participants have called it, it was my “first” half marathon.  I, however, have not decided if I will put myself through that again!  I have such mixed emotions about it.  I learned a couple of really cool things about myself through this experience.  But first, Ill tell you a bit about the experience…..

I signed up for this race with a friend who I wanted to run a race with a few years ago, but a ligament injury got in the way.  My friend went on to run that particular race and has since completed several half marathons.  Last March, she basically said, “Colleen, you keep talking about wanting to run a Half, here’s one in Temecula – let’s sign up!” So, we did, and I began training.  My friend actually had to cancel herself out of the race soon after signing up when she realized she would be out of the state at a family function that day.  I decided to go it alone and just try to complete this personal goal I’ve had for a few years.

I’ve been running for  many years, but never more than about 4 miles with the exception of one 10K (6m) race a few years ago.  I found a training guide online and began following it.  I did really well for the first few months.  On my 44th birthday in August, I ran 8.4 miles around Mission Bay.  As a side note, I have a tradition of going for a powerful run on my birthday – it doesn’t always have to be long, but I like to do some sort of local destination run – I started on my 40th birthday, so it felt great to run this far on my 44th!! I was on FIRE!

But then…..I took a series of trips to visit family and for work training.  I was away at least one week of Aug, Sept, and Oct.  This threw my training off.  It was no one’s fault but my own.  I didn’t run nearly as much as I should have during these months.  In fact, my birthday run remained my farthest run until the actual day of the race. Because my training was not up to par, I decided 3 weeks before the race to really put it into full gear – and I did, but actually did some temporary damage by doing too much too soon.  I set 6 miles as my shortest runs and within the first 10 days of heavy training again, I found I had some severe metatarsal pain. I sought out the advice of a couple of personal trainer pals and the result was that I was not going to run until the race.  The thinking was that since I know I can do at least the 8.4 miles, if I take care of my body, I should be able to get through the race the next week.

Well, the couple of days before the race, I found myself extremely anxious- I’m not usually an anxious person, so, I focused on positive intentions of completing the race – that was the intention – I let go of needing to complete it within a certain time or even holding myself to running the entire course – I just wanted to complete it – period. Well, I did complete it.  I set a personal record of running 10 miles without stopping.  Oh, but wait! I bet you’re thinking – “Uh, Colleen, a Half Marathon is 13.1 miles, not 10!” Right you are! But first things first – I RAN 10 MILES!!!! HOLY COW! OK…and then the metatarsal pain kicked in so badly I had to walk the next 2 miles.  Those were pretty slow miles – I had to keep stopping to stretch the bottom of my feet to lessen the pain.  Then, at the beginning of mile `12, I thought, “I got this! I can run the last 1.1 miles!” Well, my mind was definitely fighting against my body – I tried to jog and realized I was so dehydrated that my calves started to seize and cramp, so I was left to walk to the finish line.  Ah well – crossing the finish line did happen, but the screaming rock star I envisioned myself to be in my fantasies wasn’t there.  The scream was more of a cry of relief when I saw my husband standing there waiting for me.   I remember just grabbing his shoulders and crying – there were definitely tears of pride and joy in there, mixed with ones of fear because my body never really felt the way it did for about the past hour.   There was a party going on at the winery.  People looked happy.  There was live music.  Lots of racers were walking around with their complimentary wine and goodie bags.  Me?  I collapsed on the ground and hoped no one would step on me while I tried to talk my body into calming down! It eventually did and about 20 minutes after I finished the race, I requested that we just pick up our belongings at the hotel and head on home because I wanted to go to bed…no after-race party for me!…lol..After dealing with a few hours of severe dehydration, my body was quite fine and I was quite proud of my accomplishment.

Here’s what I learned about the experience:

1.  There’s no such thing as drinking too much water! (Seriously!)

2.  For as much as I didn’t gracefully run across the finish line as I dreamed of, I still hit a very significant personal best of running the 10 miles.

3.  I was able to let go of needing to finish by a certain time or needing to run the entire race.  I always hold myself to very high standards.  I can be very self-critical.  In this case, the needs of my body over-ruled whatever I wanted to put it through to meet my goal – and that was OK. If I want to do this again in the future (notice I said do, not try) I will definitely be prepared to train more consistently – that lesson was definitely learned!

4.  Before the race, I would say, “I’m training for my first half marathon” rather than “I’m training for a half marathon” – like this was just the beginning…lol….I think for now, I’m good with just one – that is something new for me –  my competitive nature usually forces my hand in these situations, but I’m going to sit with this accomplishment for now and enjoy it for what it is before I move on to the next.

Be Good to Yourself

This weekend focus on something that makes you feel energized!

Is there a place in town you haven’t been to in a while?  Do you have a home project you’ve been putting off? Me, I’m going to get to a local lake to get in a jog in a lovely setting – that makes me feel like I’m taking care of myself. Life can get sooo busy! Yes- we all have obligations that take up our time and can feel like we don’t have time for the things that energize us, but there are often ways in which we can steal a little time for something we really want.

Tonight, before you go to sleep- think about how you want to spend your time this weekend.  Maybe even write out a plan for yourself.  Do you need to get up earlier in the morning to get some self-care in?  Do you need to elicit some support from your partner or a friend in order to feel like you can take care of yourself as well as your family this weekend.  Think about what you need, and then figure out how to make it happen

The Past has No Power…

The past has no power over the present moment.
-Eckhart Tolle

If you want to make changes, just be what you want to be. People feel bound to their past.  You only have obstacles to overcome when you focus on not being something else anymore verses being who you want to be.  When you decide to be “a better parent” or “be a healthy person” or “be a supportive partner” who you were even yesterday makes no difference if this is what your intention is today.  Being who you want to be today may take effort and thinking differently, but the thoughts you need to focus on are the ones in line with what you want the outcome to be – you don’t need to spend time on regretting or wishing yesterday (or the last 20 years) were different.  That will only hold you back.  Focusing on today will move you forward!

Ever consider dating someone like yourself?

Be the type of person you want to meet

So often, people complain about perpetual dating problems.  They discuss all the times they go out “with the wrong guy (or girl)”.  They talk about all the things they thought they saw in that person, or recall “feeling so comfortable” with them.  Yes, there is something to be said about feeling comfortable with someone early in the dating relationship, but more often I have seen the benefit of “being the person you want to meet”.  This means if you want someone “outdoorsy”, “successful”, “emotionally stable” or “family oriented”, you will be living your life in that way as well!  When you participate in your life the way you want a potential mate to, then you will more likely meet someone with those qualities.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Do not focus your intentions on what you no longer want in your relationship.  Focus on what you want!   When all your thoughts and actions are focused on what you want, you will find that you don’t have to think about what you don’t want, because it will no longer feel comfortable.

For instance , let’s say you’re a woman who keeps dating men with “great potential” but at the time you meet them, they are struggling to hold a job.  You reflect back to yourself after dating him for 6 months, how you can’t believe you’ve gotten involved with yet another man who needs you to prop him up emotionally or financially in life.  You feel frustrated – as if these types of men are your destiny.  On the other hand, maybe you’re a guy who keeps dating women with a lot of drama in their lives. You think to yourself,”How did I find myself int his situation again? Every time I call her, there is more drama going on! I totally didn’t want to date drama queens anymore!”  Both of you have probably said to yourselves, “What’s wrong with me that I keep attracting exactly the people I don’t want?!”

If you’ve been struggling in this area, I have a 30 day intention exercise for you:

Just for 30 days focus your intentions on what qualities you want in a partner – then… each morning take a 5 minute meditation on telling yourself that you are living your life with those qualities.  You essentially will be “acting as if’ you are the partner you want.  It will sound something like this:  “I am a confident, active, funny, family-oriented person”.  (you will, of course insert whatever qualities you want). As you adopt your mindset of focusing on what you want, when you run into someone who raises your red flags, it will no longer feel tolerable and you will find it much easier to say, “You know, I’m sure you have some really good qualities, but I just don’t think we’re going to be a great match, good luck to you”.